” Its important to be comfortable with uncertainty.“
- Xiaolu Guo
When we are estranged from people we love and care about, it is easy to become anxious, worried and deeply concerned about what we should do about it. We can tie ourselves into knots thinking of the right thing to say or the right thing to do; should I phone? Should I send a letter? Write an email? Should I just drop by? Should I get another family member to intervene on my behalf? Should I apologize? If I apologize can I still be angry? Can I still be hurt?
Sometimes estrangement floods us with a sense of urgency. We are certain if we don’t act in this moment, another moment will never arrive. Usually that's not true.
Estrangement makes us feel conflicted – we may love the person we are estranged from, yet feel hurt or angry too. We may want to fix things, yet believe it is not in our best interests to make ourselves vulnerable again. Estrangement leaves many of us with mixed thoughts, and mixed thoughts have a way of making people feel anxious.
Believe me when I say you don't have to do anything before you're ready. You can take your time. You can wait for clarity to come. You can do all of this and not put your life on hold. The goal is to make intentional, considered choices. Those kind of choices take time. You'll make a decision when you know. Trust that.